


Oh Dear

by turtletoria



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 07:11:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21249467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtletoria/pseuds/turtletoria
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley are just planning on having a nice picnic with the Them when things get a little funky.





	1. it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ah yes, just a cute little picnic. nothing can go wrong

It was a sunny afternoon at Crowley’s and Aziraphale’s cottage in South Downs, a week after the Not-End of the World, and Aziraphale was determined to enjoy it to the fullest. “Crowley, dear! Buck up, now! The sun’s going to go down by the time you get up!” He ran back up to their bedroom, and shook Crowley vigorously. He grumbled. 

“Please, angel,” he mumbled into his pillow. “I’m enjoying myself.” 

“It’s 2:30 in the afternoon,” Aziraphale said. Crowley jumped up. 

“We’re going to be late for the picnic with Adam and the Them! Why didn’t you wake me up sooner?” He snapped his fingers, and his pajamas were magically replaced with his usual getup. Immediately, he started running down the stairs. Aziraphale, still at the bedside, rolled his eyes before adjusting his coat and following after Crowley. 

“Get in, angel!” Crowley yelled from the driver’s side of the Bentley. Aziraphale picked up the pace, and soon they were off. The Bentley kicked up dust and scared the occasional passerby as it sped at unsafe speeds through the little village of Tadfield. They went past the town to a small spot near the woods, where there was a lovely patch of grass near a nicely sized lake where geese and other waterfowl were peacefully going about their business. Aziraphale took out a basket from the back of the car, and Crowley began to lay down a blanket. 

“Now, where could Adam and his little friends be? They said they’d be here.” He stood up and looked around. “I’m going to see if I can meet them. Do be a dear and wait a bit?” Crowley nodded, and Aziraphale was off. 

As soon as the angel left, Crowley began to panic. He dug through his coat pockets, and went through the pockets on his pants twice. He even thought to strip off his socks and overturn his shoes, but still he couldn’t find it. “Rrgh! Where is- where- I-I left it… argh!” He flopped back down onto the blanket, his face in his hands. “I’ve lost the ring,” he mumbled in despair. His ears perked up at the sound of multiple voices coming his way, and he quickly tried to hide any evidence of tears. 

“Crowley, Adam here was just telling me-” 

“Hey, angel.” Crowley was lying on his side, his head propped up with one arm while the other was on his hips. Aziraphale began to sputter. Adam and the Them shot glances at one another before shaking their heads. 

“Hey, Crawly,” said Brian. 

“It’s Crowley,” said Crowley. 

“Oh,” said Brian. 

Crowley rolled onto his back, exasperated at his poor attempts at being romantic. He pushed the basket towards the kids. “We brought snacks,” he mumbled through the hand that he had on his face. 

Aziraphale, still a bit pink, squatted beside Crowley. “Now what’s all this about, dear boy?” he asked, gently. Crowley turned the same shade as his cherry-colored collar. 

“Ngk, it’s, hghk, nothing. Absolutely nothing.” 

“Then what was all that about?” 

“What was what about?” 

“Please, dear.” 

“Angel-” 

“Can you please stop talking? We can’t appreciate this food properly through the noise,” said Adam. 

“Thank you,” Wensleydale added. 

“Oh, yes. Thank you,” said Adam. 

Aziraphale, upon seeing that Crowley was not willing to speak, decided to join the Them and leave Crowley alone to suffer in his embarrassment, far from the cute little picnic scene and far from the angel. But that was apparently too much to ask, since Adam moved to Crowley’s side not long after. 

“Why are you acting all mopey?” he asked.

“Ah, it’s not something you’d understand,” answered Crowley, still lying on his back with an almost-empty bottle of wine in his hand. 

Adam gave a sly smile. “Did you lose something?” he asked coyly. 

Crowley’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t. Why are you asking?” 

Adam presented Crowley a small golden band shaped into two delicate wings. Crowley made a grab at it, but Adam moved it just out of reach. 

“Kid! What are you doing? Where’d you get that?” 

“Don’t worry! I’m going to help you!” 

“Adam, I appreciate it, but  _ give it back _ .”

“No.” 

“What’s a child know about proposing to someone?” whined Crowley. 

“I’m not  _ just _ a child; I'm also the antichrist. And I  _ did  _ just save the world.” 

Crowley sputtered, then sighed. “Fine then.”   


“Wicked!” 

* * *

"So you see, children, I had lost the engagement ring that I was planning on giving Crowley this evening. Have you seen it, by any chance? It’s small. Looks like a little snake. I don’t think it’s too hard to miss?” 

Pepper, Brian, and Wensleydale looked at each other and smiled, knowingly. 

“What was that?” asked Aziraphale. 

“Nothing,” they all said at the same time, before giggling to themselves. 

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes at them, but he continued to drink his tea in suspicious silence. Behind him, he ignored the sound of rustling bushes before a tap on his shoulder made him turn. 

“Adam and I are going to head over to the lake for a quick sec. Don’t move.” Crowley grabbed Adam by the hand and ran off. 

Aziraphale sipped his tea.  _ Everyone is acting quite strangely today, _ he thought. Whispering brought his attention back to the Them. 

Pepper coughed. “Mr. Phale, we know where your ring is.”

Aziraphale brightened up and set down his cup. “Oh! Wonderful! Where is it?” 

“We hid it somewhere among these trees.”   


“Oh no.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope yall are liking it so far!!! eereghrghrhrghH!!


	2. Oh Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone's brain cells have left the chat

By the lake, Adam was busy teaching Crowley the basics. 

Crowley sat attentively at Adam, who was gesturing wildly as he discussed the best way to propose to someone. 

“First, you need to be somewhere really fancy. Like a five-star restaurant or something! Michelin starred!”

“Like the Ritz?”

“Pssh,” scoffed Adam. “That’s boring. There’s this pizza place in the city nearby, and it’s brilliant. Perfect for this kind of thing. Who wants stuffy, rich people food anyway?” 

Crowley nodded at this sage advice. 

“Then, you pull out the ring and say, ‘Please marry me.’ The  _ please  _ is the most important part, otherwise you’ll look rude and  _ uncouth _ .” Adam smiled at himself, impressed with his own vocabulary. “Like so.” He pulled the winged ring out of his pocket, letting it glint in the sun. Before he could utter another word, however, a loud honk from behind him made him jump. The ring fell from his fingers and into the grass. “OH NO!” 

Crowley and Adam fell on all fours searching for the ring. Luckily, Crowley found it quickly and held it up triumphantly. “Ha  _ ha!” _ His joy was short lived, however, for immediately after, a goose ran up, snatched it from his hand, and then swallowed it. Honking, it dashed off to blend in with the rest of its flock. 

“After it!” Adam cried. 

* * *

The Them and Aziraphale had been wandering around the surrounding woods for what seemed to be hours. 

“I could have sworn I had put it under that oak tree,” said Brian, scratching his head. 

Wensleydale frowned. “That was a pine tree. These are all pine trees.” 

“Oh.” 

Pepper groaned. “Now what! That’s it? It’s gone forever?” Aziraphale paled. “Not that it is! Because we can still find it! Right guys?” Wensleydale and Brian looked elsewhere and whistled. Pepper elbowed them both in the ribs.

“Ow- yes!”

“Mm-hm!” 

Pepper smiled, satisfied. “Now then. Onward! We’re gonna search every tree!”

The boys groaned. The angel sighed. 

* * *

“Now what?” Crowley cried. The goose had found safety in numbers, and among around 30 others that looked exactly like it, it was impossible to figure out which one was the ring thief. 

“I don’t know! Use your magic!” Adam said. 

“And do what? Burst these birds until I find the ring?” 

“Uh, fair point.” 

Crowley reeled backward, grabbing his hair. Adam suddenly lit up. “Idea! How about we scare each of these birds into coughing up the ring?” Crowley glared at Adam. “What? Do you have a better idea?” 

Crowley never seemed to have any. 

“Let’s get spooking, then,” he muttered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the takeaway from this is that they are all stupid and baby falsjfkl


	3. Lovey Dovey Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the part you've been waiting for, probably

Aziraphale, on all fours, rummaged through the foliage in search of the snake ring, assisted by the Them. 

“This is hopeless,” he said. “I guess it really is gone forever.” 

Wensleydale suddenly gasped, startling everyone else. “Wait! What if it’s not on the ground? What if it’s _ up?” _

“Like, floating?” asked Brian. 

“No, like on a branch!” Wensleydale said. “Or in a nest!” 

“The branches are much too low for you kids to climb,” said Aziraphale. 

“Not unless we stack on top of each other,” said Pepper. Brian and Wensleydale agreed. Aziraphale did not. 

“No. Absolutely not,” he said. “My coat might get muddy.” 

“You’ve been crawling around in the dirt for an hour,” said Brian. 

“Fair point, my dear boy. Fine.” 

Aziraphale linked his hands up together so that Brian could step up onto his shoulders. Next was Pepper, with Wensleydale as the one on top. Aziraphale strained under the weight. 

“Do you see it?” he gasped. Wensleydale squinted into the branches. 

“No… wait!” he pointed to a shining object. Get closer to the tree on your left!” After ten agonizing steps, Wensleydale ordered a stop. “Nope, sorry. That was just a beetle.” Everyone groaned. 

Behind them, they heard frantic yelling and the sound of frenzied honking. “Watch out!” cried Adam, before the Them and Aziraphale watched the antichrist become overrun by geese. 

Crowley, in full snake form, hissed at the geese, chasing them around, flipping them upside down hoping that the winged ring would somehow reveal itself. _ I’ll sssscare the ring out of ‘em if it’s the lassst thing I do! _

Upon seeing Aziraphale, Crowley stopped his pursuit and quickly turned back into his humanoid form, but not before stumbling over running waterfowl and tumbling face first into a hole at the base of a tree. The remaining birds flew into Aziraphale, who, with a surprised yelp, lost his balance. 

Aziraphale began to tilt forward, the kids swaying from side to side atop his shoulders. Eventually, he fell forward, landing on top of a goose that was slower than the rest of its flock. The Them safely landed in piles of soft leaves thanks to some quick thinking from both Aziraphale and Crowley (who couldn’t see what was happening, but could hear well enough that there was trouble). 

After around a couple seconds of hacking and coughing, Aziraphale realized that the sounds were not coming from him and were instead coming from the goose that he was laying on. He quickly arose, letting the disgruntled bird waddle away. He sighed, before his head turned to something in front of him that had caught his eye. It was glittering…

“The ring!” He picked it up without a second thought. 

Near him, he heard the sound of hissing as Crowley freed himself from the hole by transforming back into a snake and slithering out. A ring was looped onto his tongue before he dropped it into the palm of his hand when he returned to his human form. The angel and the demon stood face to face, both a mess: Aziraphale was covered in dry leaves, sticks, and dirt, while Crowley was spattered with mud, water, and goose feathers. After a bit of stunned silence, they began to giggle. They leaned on each other, laughing, talking about the events that had just transpired. 

The daylight was beginning to fade, the sky turning pink as the sun was setting. Adam got up from the dirt, spitting out a couple of feathers. The rest of the Them sat up in their pile of leaves. Adam crawled over to them. “Hey, you wouldn’t believe-” Pepper put a finger to her lips at him. Then, with a smile, she pointed to the scene in front of them. 

Crowley and Aziraphale gazed lovingly at each other, then stared in surprise at the rings they each held in their hands - Crowley was now in possession of a golden coiled snake, with eyes made of rubies while Aziraphale had a golden band with wings. “Oh, we both got each other's - pff!” Crowley laughed, burying his face in Aziraphale’s shoulder. After a second, he met the angel’s eyes again.

“You know… I quite like the idea of having something that would remind us of one another,” said Aziraphale, gently. 

Crowley smiled. “You know, that doesn’t sound half bad.”

Aziraphale blushed deeply as he took a deep breath. “Crowley, the most kind, spooky, _ brilliant _ being I have had the pleasure of meeting… would you be willing to stay by my side?” 

“And you, Aziraphale,” said Crowley, swallowing, “The most bastardly, ethereal, _ wonderful _ angel in the whole star system, no, the _ whole universe _ … would you be willing to not only be my best friend, but also my uh.” He began to sputter. “Hussss...band? _ Spouse? _ Ngkghrk, _ um, _ marry me?” Crowley glanced off to the side to see Adam mouthing a word. “Oh! I mean, _ please _ marry me?” 

Aziraphale laughed a wonderful laugh. “Yes. But you still haven’t answered my question.” He held Crowley’s hand. Now it was Crowley’s turn to turn a deep red.

“Yes, _yes_ of _course,_ you lovely angel, you!” With that, they kissed. After a few beats, they stared at each other, face flushed with joy. They were so absorbed with one another that they didn’t notice that the full moon above them, or the complaints from the Them about it getting chilly out now, and that they should really get going before their parents got worried, or that if they didn’t get to help organize the wedding, they would be _very _upset. 

But the power of love could only go so far. Eventually, the lateness of the hour, as well as the complaints from the children, grew too obvious to ignore. Crowley sighed, turning from Aziraphale to the kids, and together, they walked towards their picnic grounds, cleaned up their mess and got back to the Bentley to take them back into Tadfield. After the Them were taken home, the couple returned to their cottage, together, on their own side at last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for sticking with the story!!!!!!!! aaa! honestly writing all the romantic parts made me be all stupid and flustered in real life so uh yeah!! anyway this was fun and thank you! i may not be oscar wilde or mary shelley but uh i hope this was fun to read! ciao!
> 
> also just wanted to say that this was inspired by all the lovely art of Aziraphale and Crowley with wedding bands that are symbolic of each other!! that always makes me so happy and soft and yeah!! 
> 
> also also we all know that they don't really need to get married for their love to be legit but,, ring shiney


End file.
